Jeans weigh 2 pounds

Well, I managed to run 1 whole mile non stop today! May not sound like much but 1 month ago I wasn’t even working out… so Yay me!

It’s funny you know I was going to say that I’ve “used” asthma my whole life as an excuse to not be able to run. But now I know it’s more a case of asthma actually making it really difficult to run! I finished working out awhile ago, yet I’m still a little wheezy and feel like I could really use a good cough to clear away some lung butter. Gross? Yes, but it's my life.

It really is like breathing through a straw and therefore that much more difficult to do when you run… but obviously it’s something that you can work on to get better and better. At least I hope so, because when I do the “math” in my head… let’s see Feb 7^th 1 mile… mid June 13 miles… that gives me a little over 17 weeks to be able to run 12 more miles in a single run.  Let’s just say I have my doubts. That being said I do know I will be walking some parts of it, but I’d like to be able to run 10 miles. If I walk three and run ten, I would say that would be one of the top athletic successes of my life. Running a marathon has been on my bucket list for a long time. Why not now? Yes I should have done it in my 20’s when I was in better shape, thinner and had nothing but time, but I think it’s going to mean so much more to me now. Dear God, please help me get through it. If I die along the way, well… that would suck.

On Saturday I went for my weigh in. When I stepped on the scale and saw that the numbers went up I think my consultant could tell I was going to snap. She immediately said to me “why did you wear jeans?? You don’t usually wear jeans!” Now had she been lying and trying to save my ego I probably would have punched her. But she was right, I usually wear my ever so light no lining track pants for a weigh in. So I ripped my pants off and weighed in. It said I was down1.6 of a pound so I took 1.2 down to account for no pants at all. After all the working out and eating properly I could not take a plus number on the scale. I don’t care if I haven’t pooped in a week or what I’ve got on, I could not see a plus. I’m just glad I could keep my shirt on and the pants was enough. I know it’s supposed to be small amounts… the whole slow and steady wins the race. I know it didn’t take me 3 weeks to put this much weight on and it’s not going to take me 3 weeks to take it off. But goddamn it I will be damned if I’m going to do everything right and not get at least the satisfaction of the number going down. It’s all I’ve got. You would have ripped your pants off too.

This week I’m hoping to join M at Yoga. I didn’t get to my dvd on the weekend and I realize that it is much more fun playing car or horsey (anything where she can ride on me) with my rat baby than it is shooing her away to go play while I do downward dog in my living room. So I think I will have to actually leave the house to do it.  She may be a distraction, but she’s a fun distraction!!